Notes I Took at Time Out for Women

It's gonna be a long'n!

Over the last weekend in January my mother treated me to a session of Deseret Book's Time out for Women, a mini convention for over worked, under paid, burned-out women. It was exactly the boost I needed. Here's some gems I picked up and want to remember:

DeAnne Flinn, mother of eight, spoke first and shared the following:
Paraphrasing from Patrick Overton, 'Faith is knowing that when you come to the end of the light, one of two things will happen: Either there will be something solid to stand on, or you will be taught to fly.'

Men are that they might have joy, women are that they might have guilt! (So true! tee, hee, hee)

Thriving is an attitude. Don't just survive; choose to thrive. Note: It really struck me how easy it is to fall into the habit of merely putting out the fires or simply reacting, reacting, reacting, and not actually planning for anything.

In a 1989 conference talk Pres. Benson pointed out that there is no such thing as righteous pride in the scriptures. Pride says- if you win then I'm a failure.

Paraphrasing from C.S. Lewis, 'Most people wrap their faith around themselves like a string around a package, but until that string is the lifeline saving you from falling off a cliff, you never really know what you believe.'

Beware of over scheduling your children with good things. And don't make lessons, sports, etc. a priority over family time and good 'ole housework. That can teach your children that it's all about them, that their activities are more important that all else, and they don't need to contribute to the household.

Three most important things for DeAnne:
1- Do the basics well (Family Home Evening, family prayer, family scripture study, etc.)
2- Model righteous behavior (Children learn quickly from your example)
3- And remember that the past does not determine the future, you do. (It's never too late
to begin living the way you'd like to)

A poem shared by the legendary Ardith Greene Kapp, but I don't know the title or author:

Listen to your inner drummer,
Follow it's beat.
The world beats another rhythm,
a rhythm of defeat.
Let us be a holy people,
Peculiar and divine.
Living in the world,
but walking out of line.

My favorite parts of Brent Top's talk:
Jeffery R. Holland teaches that when we are in pain, we need to remember that those humbling times of life are when we are best able to listen and be taught by God. In order to expedite those moments we need to pay attention!

As a mission president he had a young missionary come in his office and confess, "President, I wanna go home." Brother Top also made a confession, "Elder, so do I. But neither of us can, so lets go to work!"

Boy K. Packer suggests that we can only actively think about one thing at a time. So push out negative, fearful, or otherwise defeating thoughts with a song, a memory, or some other positive thought.

Faith and fear cannot exist in the same heart simultaneously. We choose one or the other.

Use the scriptures to feel God's love.

When deep in a pity party remember, you can do it, because the Lord has been so good to you.

James E. Faust said, "Gratitude is a saving grace, because it saves us from our own selfishness."

Like a small kid needs a parent's arms, when we're freaking out, we need to let the Lord hold us, and then we can do all things.

"Trust in His power to save you; trust His power. Trust His love; He loves you with a perfect love. Trust the promises." Brent Top


Hillary Weeks shared her perspective about dealing with others, "Don't worry about what they think of you. Worry about what they think of themselves when they are with you."


Kim Nelson was great:
He asked us to think about the 13th article of faith then he said, "Teach those things, champion those things. Be them so loudly that the world falls in behind you." Bro. Nelson shared the scripture about not hiding a candle under a bushel, but giving it's light to all the house. Then he said, "Ladies, rock the house!"

We are often too critical of ourselves. We assume that when we make mistakes, we disappoint our Father in Heaven, but that's often not the case.

Bro Nelson compared our lives with a parent teaching their kid to ride a bike. What parent dresses their kid in a helmet and pads, puts them on the bike, sends them off, and says to themselves, "This kid will never fall..."

That's ridiculous, right? Instead, our Heavenly Father would be the first person to the wreck. He'd fix our bike, brush us off, and send us off again.

Instead of beating yourself up when you make mistakes, be the one that gets right back on your bike. Let Heavenly Father give you a love and start you off again.

"Just like the art projects on your fridge at home, your very best effort, plus the love of a good parent, or the atonement of the Savior, makes a masterpiece. It's not about outcome; it's about effort." -Kim Nelson

As a marraige counselor, K.N. believes that the highest correlative factor to intimacy in a relationship is self-disclosure. Welcome your partner to see all of you, good and bad, emotional or callus. And so it is with your Savior. Invite Him to see you. Accept the joy that you bring him and enjoy the reflection.

One way the adversary distracts us, (especially women) is by having us believe we're not good enough. When you feel that, counter with these thoughts: If you saw a mother treating her daughter the way you treat yourself, what kind of mother would she be? We must be patient with ourselves! Advise yourself as you would a girlfriend, not an enemy!

"As long as you keep trying to be the best you can be, it is enough." -K.M.

Kim Nelson said he believes that women, particularly mothers, are the force that drives the world. He said much like his beautiful cockier spaniel at home, he'll jump through any hoop for his wife's scooby snacks. So grab a big hoop and some scooby snacks and go change the world!


After this spiritual boost my main goal is this: I want to begin and end each day on purpose, at a planned time, on my knees. I'm tired of just falling into bed and dying and stumbling back out when someone's crying wakes me. I will also strive to do the basics well as Deanne Flinn advised.