Update On Mom's Foot

Just to let you know, my mom had her foot ex rayed today, and it is broken. She will be in a boot for 6 weeks, and taking it easy after that. Poor lady! There goes her summer!


And here's a picture of the Bill and Ora Reeder family way back in Fall '05. This is a much better pic of Dave! :)






While I'm at it, here's a picture of the Mark and Kathy Bardwell family from Jan-ish '05. (Smarty's in the red hoodie) I think both pics will be updated this year. Don't worry, I'll inflict them on you ASAP!

Smarty's Heroes

I have to tell you about 3 of the most amazing uncles a kid ever had. My brothers are so great with my kids.This is Russ. He saved the day today. We went for a hike up a trail that was a little rockier and a little steeper then Smarty could handle. Russ pretty much carried Smarty the whole way on his shoulders. I carried Sweety in a front pack.

We slowly climbed for about 2 or 3 miles and then my kids couldn't take any more. We were only several hundred yards from our destination so I decided to wait with my kids while my mother and Russ finished hiking to the waterfall.

My kids were exhausted and after some light snacking and some water, they were showing signs of fatigue. Who could blame them, we'd already been on the mountain for a few hours. I decided to start heading back, but after one or two steep decents, climbing over boulders and forging the river it was clear I wasn't going to be able to get all three of us down by myself. (Dang, I knew I should've had Weaties this morning!) So we found a nice clearing and sat down to rest.

The kids crashed. That is they fell asleep, promptly. I sat there with my beautiful babies in my arms and waited, and admired all of the green plants and flowers and waited, and set a few stray hikers back on course and waited, and waited, and began to count the number of different butterfly species I could see and waited, and thought about the muscles required to imitate some interesting bird calls and waited some more.

After a year or so, Russ appeared. Where was Mom you ask? My dear mother had sprained her ankle and was hobbling down the steep, rocky path with an ingenious crutch Russ had cut from a tree branch. At that same moment a perticular aroma in the air informed me that it had been a mistake to leave the diapers in the car. Crap. And after so much time on the mountain I knew my kids were going to need real food in a hurry.

Here's where the hero of the story emerges. Russ splinted Mom's ankle and made her comfortable by the side of the river so she could keep her foot submerged and cold. Then he threw Smarty on his shoulders and we hauled down the mountain to the car. When it got tough to climb down he reached for my hand and supported Sweety and I too. After we were all clean and on our way to town for some food he hiked back in and practically carried Mom out too! What a man.

Here's uncle Joe with Sweety. Here's uncle Dave. No he's not psycho even though the mustache makes him look questionable! (jab, jab to you Dave) Tomorrow I promise to scan a pic of him that will do him justice.

I don't have any specific hero stories about Dave and Joe at the moment, but they are amazing too. They play on a soccer team and Smarty loves to watch their games. Afterward they always take a minute to kick a ball around with Smarty. He feels so grown-up and important to play ball with these guys.

Smarty just lives for attention from his uncles and they are great at dishing it out. They're pretty heroic to me!

Potty-training...AAAHHHH! (Lots of cuss words here)

This kid is pretty cute, but my kid is cuter!






Hopefully after reading the previous post, you all understand Smarty and his unique way of learning. I desperately need some advice about potty-training, so please put on your thinking caps and help me figure this one out.

Smarty started staying dry all night and pooping at the same time each day forever ago, like two years ago. He started paying attention and notifying us of bodily functions at the start of 2007. He wants very much to be a big boy and go in the potty like Mom and Dad. He's totally into the rewards for going in the potty, and by all descriptions, should be ready to train.

However, it's not going so well. One problem is that he's uncomfortable going on the toilet. We've tried his own little potty chair, we've put it in the bathroom, we've put it in front of the TV, we've tried the padded seat you put on the grown up potty, backwards on the toilet, forwards on the toilet, and even the tub. We've let him eat and/or drink while on the potty. We've watched demonstrations and discussed in detail what was happening. (a little scary, I know) We wait until that strategic moment when his bladder is about to burst and then sit him down for a book or a singing session, but he just squirms and whines 'till we put him back in his diaper and then he lets it all go. We talk about relaxing his body and letting it happen while he's on the potty, but it almost seams beyond his ability to relax and let it happen. He tries really hard, but he isn't making his body relax. Obviously he has some degree of bladder control, but it may be involuntary.

This problem is starting to lesson, and I'm hoping it will pass on it's own. Here's the bigger problem: I don't think he is connecting with the "urge" that warns you when it's time to go. Everyone tells me that once he goes potty in the toilet, he'll get it and all will be well. We all know that's not how my child works, and he has gone in the toilet 3 or 4 times, but wets his undies immediately after. It's just not been enough to cement his muscle memory yet.

With other large motor skills we've just moved his body for him until it was subconscious enough he could do it, but how can I possibly do that with potty-training? I can set him up so that the urge is strong, but until he allows himself to relax and go, I can't make him go. Also, I can't identify the urge and point it out for him if he's completely unaware of it himself. I've been told to watch until he's pushing and then get him to the potty quick, but being rushed into something causes my little Smarty to freak out. He doesn't respond well to being thrown into something, and when I've tried this, it seams to make him tense up and squirm all the more.

Help me out please! How can we do this in a pleasant and reaffirming way? Do I give it more time and hope his inability to relax passes, or is there something I should be doing right now?

Jumping & Dancing for Joy

So Smarty shows the classic symptoms for Childhood Apraxia of Speech which is what he was diagnosed with at age 2. But I believe his apraxia goes a little further than that.

Most children naturally learn to walk, climb stairs, dance, and jump. It doesn't seem to intense. It almost seams that kids just spontaneously burst into dancing or jumping, no formal training required. This wasn't the case with Smarty.

We started trying to teach him to jump in Fall '06, just after he turned 2. Ben's sister handed down to us a rocking-horse on springs that proved very helpful. After much time on the horse with Ben and I bending and straitening his legs, Smarty began to do it himself and understand the motion. When the weather got nice, we started spending lots of time on my mother's trampoline. We would hold his arms or waist and physically jump him up and down. Sometime durring March '07 Smarty jumped on the tramp, by himself, for the first time. By May '07 he figured out the rhythm required to continuously jump on the tramp, and has never wanted to quit since.

Dancing was a similar story. At first we just held his hands and wiggled his arms, and after some time we were able to help him wiggle his hips and then eventually move his feet. Ben and I really credit our sister-in-law, Millie, with that victory. She spent hours with the music blaring, her children acting like hoodlums, working with our little boy until he finally figured it out.

Just today we were at Target and Smarty pushed a button on a toy and it began to make music. Smarty immediately began to move his hands up and down and sway side to side. His robotic version of the "mashed potato." I loved it! It almost makes me cry to think of all that was involved to bring that moment about. I'm so indebted to everyone who has spent extra time with my kids, especially to Smarty himself. He never gives up rarely gets discouraged.

What term would I give to Smarty's Apraxia? I've Googled it all, and there are so many terms with minor variations here and there. It's all quite confusing to me. I don't know which particular version fits best, but for my intents and purposes, Apraxia is a disorder where kids have no trouble with input. They understand all that is being said to them or asked of them. They can draw logical conclusions when a number of factors are presented. They comprehend, they compute, they "get it."

It's the output where they have trouble. Their brain understands what is needed, but actually communicating that to their muscles is where the problem lies. The communication between brain and muscles (or motor functions) for whatever reason is weak, so tasks have to be repeated to an insane degree, and explained on a most basic level. (for example: in order to make the sound for letter "m" drop your bottom jaw, now close your lips but not teeth, now breathe out of your nose, and make your throat vibrate)

Only in the last 6 months has Smarty begun to imitate the actions of those around him without a detailed explanation. Even then, his imitation is often inaccurate or skewed.

We are so dang proud of him though! He works really hard and has come a long way. He always does his best to do what we ask him to do. Yes I know that's rare in a 3 year old. Yes I'm very grateful! We expect that he will be up to speed, if not, ahead by the time he starts Kindergarten. Thanks again to everyone who has helped Smarty to be the capable kid he is.

My guys

I have had several requests for pictures. So here are some of my favorites from the last little while:


Here's Halloween '07. I know, I know, you've never seen cuter guys in your life! (I swear if Smarty had his way, his cowboy boots would have never left his feet after that day!) We went to Arizona to my Mom's family's retirement community. It used to be a working ranch, but now all her cousins build cabins and watch the grass grow during their waining years. It was fun to trick-or-treat to some people that don't get a lot of trick-or-treaters.




Here's a cute moment from Dec. '07. My boys have a great relationship. We're lucky they get on so well. Our toughest moments are when one of them is sad. Empathy always comes out in the other, and we have two boys crying instead of one.



Here's the Howard family reunion last summer. Smarty is learning to sword fight from some very patient older cousins.

Here's my favorite pirates from the reunion last summer.

Sweetie and I in November '07. He is still pretty much this same size and shape. He hasn't gained any significant amount of weight or height since he was 4 months old. His bone age is probably only 3 months old. We're seeing a pediatric endocrinologist but no news yet on the cause or solution.

What do we do, you ask? (Ben Posted)

Are you serious? asked what we do to deal with Appraxia. What we have to do is repeat things over and over and over and over and... well you get the point. He was diagnosed with Childhood Verbal Appraxia. We think it has has some when it come to gross motor too.
With speech, and with physical things, we've had to teach Smarty every day for weeks to get it down. Most kids learn how to jump and dance on their own. Smarty had to be instructed, demonstrated and refreshed so many times we could scream on how to do it. If he wasn't so darn cute we'd be really frustrated. When it came to speech, he could easily make the individual sounds of the word, but try to put them together and he couldn't say a syllable correct. One thing interesting is that the "r" sound came real early to Smarty. For instance with "momma" we could get him to do a "m," but when you try for the word it would come out "buubba" for some reason. All the family around has really helped. Smarty does real well now if you have him repeat a word. He doesn't hear what he's doing wrong unless you point it out and have him repeat it clearer. He is very willing and doesn't get frustrated when you don't understand or when you correct him. Preschool has really helped him.
With the Early Intervention and Preschool he should be at age level be Kindergarten. But what he lacks in speech and social behaviors, he makes up for in knowledge. He used to argue with us about whether a school bus is orange or yellow. It really is almost amber or orange-yellow. He was already making judgment because he knew what yellow and orange were.
Back to how we deal with it. We also use sign language. It was much faster to learn and use that trying speech. He first used sign, then spiked on spoken, then both because we didn't understand what he was saying, so he would talk and sign so we could understand.
Smarty is brilliant! But, I'm not partial! I'm just his dad.

Whose the fairest of them all?

Alright, my husband deserves a little attention too, (I can already hear cousin Amy barfing in the background) and then I promise to get on with the apraxia-talk.

My good husband never exaggerates or "improves" the truth. He is honest to the core, but with a tact that prevents him from being cruel. He's the guy to whom you could say, "Does this make me look fat?" and he might put his foot in his mouth, and he might talk his way around to a yes, but somehow you don't mind that he thinks your fat. (This situation was totally hypothetical, completely created in the mind of the author and should in no way imply blah, blah, blah.....) Consequently when he gives you a compliment, you can happily absorb the full force of it, no grains of salt attached. I love this about him. A cornerstone of my self-esteem is based on this.

Case in point: A little while ago we were at a wedding. The food was great; the company was great. I was really enjoying myself. I left my table for a while to visit with someone and get more fruit. When I returned to our table Ben was beaming at me. He whispered in my ear, "Do you know you're the most beautiful women in the room?" And because he is who he is, I couldn't lesson that with any explanations. What can I say? I felt like the princess of the party for the whole evening! It's fantastic to be in love with my best friend.

Bliah-blah

I shared a cute story about Smarty yesterday, so here's one about Sweety to even things up. We were recouping together in the Lazy-boy after an intense round of "Oh yes you will take this medicine- there's no way I'm taking this medicine" when Sweety popped up and landed his wet little clamp of a mouth squarely on my nose. Not unheard of I know, but the suddenness of it startled me and I laughed, not a "tee hee hee, that's so cute!" but an honest to goodness belly-laugh. Then it was Sweety's turn to be surprised. Who knew that shock and pleasure could age an 11 month old. He actually had a verbal reply, "Bliah-blah?" My name never sounded better! I repeated the word back, and his eyes said, "Finally! I thought you'd never figure out your name!" More laughter, and then his wide little grin siezed my nose again. The cycle repeated for some time. It was great!

And yes, I know I need to learn how to spell my children's fake names correctly. Hang in there; I'll get it right eventually.

"Wook-it Mommy!"

Ok ok, I promise I will get to my apraxia questions, but first I have to share a great moment with you. Smarty is really getting into his own 31/2 year old creative element. A common phrase heard around my house lately is "woo-kit, mommy!" I love to hear this phrase, especially when accompanied by a delightful creation or pleasant little surprise, but today I was not at all prepared for what followed. I left my tedious sink related work to find Smarty had apparently removed all of the sticky foam hearts from his Valentine's day school project and covered his and his brother's faces entirely! Sweetie, my 11 month old, couldn't even open his eyes! What can you do? We had a good laugh. I silently debated a dot-to-dot exercise. It's nice when a 'payday' sneaks up on you. Thank heaven children are as funny as they are challenging! Oh and someone please remind me to pick up some dang camera batteries next time I go to the store.

Confession

I'm not starting this blog about apraxia because I have tons of wisdom to impart upon the world. My selfish confession is: I’m afraid I'm in need of some help!

First, I have two beautiful boys and one feeble memory. Dealing with son #1’s, Smarty’s, apraxia has been a labor intensive journey filled with trial-and-error experiences. I’m sure you know exactly what I’m talking about. Son #2, Sweetie, looks like he also has apraxia, and I’d like to keep a record of sorts, filled with all of the things we did to help Smarty. My memory recall skills are weak at best, and I already find myself thinking, “What the heck did we do when Smarty was facing this issue?”

Second, (here's the part where you come in!) I am hoping to receive feedback on some very specific questions. I’m sure those of you with apraxic kids can sympathize with my frustration regarding the lack of info available about all this stuff. So please, please take a minute and equip me with the tools I need to raise capable, contributing human beings, and hopefully we’ll all benefit from the discussion.